happy June 1st
And he said, “there’s no future with us”
2 years of wasted hopeless and false dreaming lol.
What just hit me is that this is the REAL beginning of me.
No more holding onto dead weight where miracles won’t be performed,
no more living a lie in a dead reality,
no more selling myself for hopes of relationship sanctity
and no more freely letting darkened men light torches in my temple.
I am forced to the freedom I cried out for,
forced to push through, to the top for high achievement,
forced to tackle my list of dreams and practical daily duties
through practical daily practice, forced to accept responsibility
through picking up and throwing off these heavy chains wrapped around me.
Forced to find the root to all of my problems and insecurities
by the steady study of cross examination and writing and through this,
I am forced to stop living for those who show no love
but will use the word like running water
and I am forced to learn to love me.
I am forced to love those who God gave me #family
and I am forced to examine myself through the life around me,
forced to find who are my true friends even when years are stacked high.
I am forced to deal with me and forced to grow into light,
forced to live forced to breathe forced to have peace then freedom…
all because—like the song said,
“I called and you answered…and you came to my rescue and I…want to be where you are…”
so, to be real as possible, to be who I am in Christ,
to grow like a woman with nourished long hair and to be a blessing to you
and those around the world, I say this: thank you….
you’re teaching me that letting go was the best thing I have ever done in my life.
True sacrifice in God is the beginning of true relationship.
When you put all your fears aside to be reborn perfect in His love.
You never know until you get there—and I’m starting to understand this thing.
That nothing and no one can come before God—
that even love shall not be an idol.
I choose freedom. I chose freedom. I will remain free.
This is the hardest journey and I can’t tell you where I will be tomorrow but I can only live for today because tomorrow isn’t promised and we can’t focus on the future without focusing on the present which in all actuality is our future because of all actions and thinking that we do carries out the tomorrow already as it did the yesterday.
In all of this…today, I think, I choose and I act on my freedom. I will breathe through this and then live through this.