So let me share with you where I’m at. Where I am is here—on my attitude, my temperament and having self-control. Btw, my temperament is choleric/melancholy so it’s either I can be down and out or trying to rule the world and maybe control some folk around me but I’ve been controlling ME as God has been opening my eyes to who I am and where the changes need to be made! I’m just gonna share a brief story.So I work at the flower shop and for a period of time, I really enjoyed working there until someone came along as a co-worker and sort of interfered with my work flow—-to make a long story short, we had an altercation where I was told that she was my boss by her (but wait where have you been all this time??) and I wasn’t feeling someone “asking” me to do something every 5 or 10 minutes. It was just pure aggravation and annoyance. But anyhow, I’m not coming on here to bad mouth anyone because it’s not my style but what I am going to speak about is how I handle these sort of situations or similar, despite wanting to blow up and go off. Wait—let’s fast forward to this: reconciliation? yes…still something bugging me though? Oh yes. And what did I do about that? What I can only do everyday…
Many times when people rub us the wrong way, it’s because we allow them to—we allow them to have control over us. Well I’m here to tell you to STOP letting others have control over you—here’s how (this is what I do):
When someone offends you in the smallest or most passive way or maybe big enough for a whole play, don’t blow up but do these 5 things:
1.) Recognize opposition – I want to say that I have been praying for my family and my sister in particular and that’s a part of the reason why my worship has been so heightened. This year is about my family and crying out for their salvation. God is so dope because he moved right on time today in service when pastor matt asked those to stand who are praying for someone…and the tears just fell….but a few days ago, my oldest sister left a very nasty message on my father’s phone–such disrespect and my name was mentioned and when I heard it, I wanted nothing to do with her but God spoke to me right away and said that’s of the enemy because I have been praying —no coincidence here y’all. and because I have been hurt by her a few times (and we are nowhere near close in relationship or anything), I couldn’t help to feel so crushed by what she said but IMMEDIATELY, I put some worship music on and just started praising God in the mist of what I felt and thanked him for what I know he is going to do in DUE TIME. People, faith is a serious matter—execute it and don’t sleep on it—it’s very alive and real. And after worship, I prayed because I recognized the enemy–it was just like are you kidding me when I’ve been pouring my heart out?? But that’s how it be! so RECOGNIZE OPPOSITION especially when you know you are doing something right! We gotta cut through that mess right away! Don’t let it settle in and claim your peace in your space!
2.) [Establish Self-Control Titus 2:2 “Teach the older men to be temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance.”]: Begin to speak life over death (write them down to yourself if you need to) – Proverbs 18:21 “The tongue has the power of life and death, those who love it will eat its fruit.” When you know you wanna say and do the opposite of how you feel, start to speak in to existence the things that you need in order to keep yourself from those things. So begin to say, I have peace (I say that I am peace), I have joy, I am love, I am not hot-tempered, I am kind, I am gentle, I will not be persuaded to do wrong and of course bind the enemy’s works fast! Try not to let any of that stuff take root because as fast as it can is as fast as we need to speak against it!
3.) Worship Exodus 4:31 “…and they believed. And when they heard that the LORD was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped”. – this is a perfect time to invite God’s presence because if the enemy is trying to orchestrate anything, he won’t get the chance if God’s there! and in God’s presence we experience all of the things that we are speaking and thanking Him for them as though they are! In God’s presence, we can be still and hear him (as we ask for what we need and to get a word from him). Peace. If you can, listen to some worship—songs that speak into your situation at the moment because you want to be able to flow and just keep doing these things until peace is still and your calm and no longer urging to knock a tooth out! lol and honestly, the more you do this, the more you will be changed over time.
4.) Pray – well after worship comes prayer, now that you are totally immersed in God’s presence, what better way to be guided into prayer! His spirit is our guidance in knowing what to pray for. Pray with the “authority” of the Word against what might try to take root and against your urges to sin: 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it [as you pray knowing this!].
5.) Learn to have patience and wisdom – Proverbs 16:32 “Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city”. We as believers are called to be leaders not only within our body or church but within the world. Therefore, to be a leader requires great patience because many times we are dealing with those outside of God’s wisdom and if not, we are still required to have patience! When I say patience, I mean to have an understanding and ability to see beyond the surface of irritation, defense, anger or anything of a person that would make us want to go up side their head – it’s like being patient with a crying baby (but I hope you wouldn’t want to go up side a baby’s head) or being patient with a child learning to tie his shoe for example—because they don’t know, we have to be patient and not get frustrated with them! This is the same though—sorry, with adults. Most times annoyance comes from lack of understanding or just viewing a situation from the surface instead of digging deeper. Patience comes with having wisdom.
6.) One of the most important things you could ever do for yourself is pray for you and ask God to show you yourself and what needs to be fixed or changed…”23 Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” This is a prayer I pray often and it’s probably why I see myself so much even when it’s uncomfortable…there’s a constant mirror up and constant conviction. In psychology, the term is “self-monitoring”—when you always see what and how you are doing and saying things, interacting with others or just alert about your attitude or mood etc…but we have to look at ourselves first before we can past judgement on anyone else and I mean point fingers or say what’s wrong with them—NO what’s wrong with you?
I firmly do all of these things anywhere and in any situation (and I am growing in them) because THE BATTLE IS NOT AGAINST FLESH AND BLOOD and we need to really establish that understanding in our lives, (relationships, interactions, at work, and our prayer lives etc) especially if we are leaders or called to be leaders! Many times when someone wrongs you or offends you, sometimes it has something to do with you or sometimes it’s them and I say that in knowing that the times that I’ve wronged others, it was because of myself and sometimes I recognized things in others as well. Key thing is to nto always know if it’s you or them but to handle the situation in the best manner—outcome is primary. And besides, people don’t wanna deal with anyone who is quick to argue all the time or be on defense or ready to bug out. So recognize those things, pay attention to the detail of situations and do your best not to get swallowed up by them. Stay tuned on more of this!